the essentials in brief
According to science, it takes less than a second to fall in love.
Men usually fall in love faster than women.
True love requires openness, trust, and a strong emotional connection.
For some it’s love at first sight, for others it takes a little longer for it to work. But how long does it really take? Science knows the answer!
We really fall in love so quickly
Love… It gives us joy, happiness and sometimes headaches. Anyone who has been truly in love at least once knows how intense this feeling can be and what it means to feel truly attracted to someone else. What we can hardly explain in words is, however, quite simple from a scientific point of view. Because butterflies in the stomach can simply be explained by a chemical reaction that occurs in the body.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine took a closer look and found that when we look at someone we like, our bodies release stimulants. They have an extremely euphoric effect on us. To be more precise, these are hormones and pheromones that can actually influence clarity of thought, increase sexual desire and create attraction. All it takes is the blink of an eye. According to the researchers, this happens within a fifth of a second.
In the clip: These zodiac signs have difficulty falling in love
When infatuation becomes love
But even psychologists such as New York relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein are of the opinion that it is more of a sort of desire, which is then followed by falling in love and true love. True love requires more than just a chemical reaction in the body. Many of us have probably had experiences with romantic relationships where there was attraction, but it still didn’t work out. But why? There are four important pillars necessary for true love to arise between two people.
It may seem trivial, but love can definitely be compared to a plant. In order for it to grow, you need to take care of it, feed it and, above all, be patient. A close connection doesn’t develop overnight, but rather grows stronger and stronger over the course of days, weeks, months, and even years.
Affection can manifest itself in many ways. It means giving each other attention and affection and being genuinely interested in the other person. This also includes respecting yourself and others’ boundaries and going together instead of just focusing on your own needs.
Trust is the foundation of a healthy and happy relationship. As trust grows, so does the feeling of love. Here too, mutual respect, listening and supporting each other is important. It is based on positive experiences and consistent behaviors. There is no uncertainty that your partner will support you and you don’t have to constantly fight for your relationship. You know you can count on each other.
Of course, the basic pillars of love are mutually dependent. For example, trust impacts emotional connection and vice versa. To an emotional bond, shared experiences are as critical as the ups and downs you experience together. That doesn’t mean you always agree – even arguments can be good for a relationship and not immediately upsetting.
This is how men fall in love
Who falls in love fastest?
Despite the science, it is understandably impossible to generalize how quickly a person falls in love. People may experience or define love differently and have their own rhythms, which in turn depend on various factors. The interesting thing is that men often fall in love faster than women, which clearly disproves the common stereotype. In a study by the American psychologist Marissa Harrison, which also appeared in the “Journal of Social Psychology”, 172 university students were interviewed about love and relationships.
It turned out that men tended to say the three magic words (“I love you”) after just a few weeks, while women like to take a few months. Men seem to trust their intuition more and feel connected more quickly, which is said to be due to evolution. Women question their feelings more and focus on a stable relationship with perspective – and that takes time. Another reason would be that women have more to lose. Evolutionarily and biologically, their time to have children is limited. This is intended to intensify the desire for the “right” partner.
When they fall in love, they both go through four different phases, but in different orders. The stages are physical attraction, emotions, personality, as well as the desire to be together and commit to a relationship.